Tired

Gosh, I feel so tired right now. This is weird, considering that I woke up at around 1PM, and have felt fantastic all day (considering I didn't feel all that wonderful last night). Once American Idol started at 8PM, I started feeling really drowsy. It feels like I drank a whole bottle of Benadryl or something.

Speaking of American Idol, everyone was really good tonight. I was impressed! I still really think Sanjaya needs to go home. I feel really bad for him because people keep on voting him in when he's just not very good. It seems like it's torture for him every week, to see someone else go home because he knows it should be him. Oh well.

Gahh. I didn't go to my Chem Lab today because I wasn't feeling so well last night. Today we were supposed to turn in the lab from last week, but because I wasn't feeling well last night and planned on not going today, I never actually did it. Now I'm freaking out, because it's 11:30, I feel like dropping dead in my bed, and it needs to get turned in tomorrow! For every day it is late, she takes ten percent off the total grade of the lab. And I turned in last weeks lab too late to even get any points for it (you still have to turn it in regardless or you don't pass the class) so I need, need, need to turn it in tomorrow.

But then, my lazy side says, "Jessica, who cares? The lab doesn't count for a huge amount of your total chemistry grade, why not just put it off until Thursday night?"

That's horrible, but I just don't think I could concentrate enough to do all the fucking calculations and all that crap. I fucking despise math! If I had to write an essay right now, I would be able to do it, but my brain just can't handle doing something I can barely grasp even when I'm not tired.

I'm so going to have to change my major. I have to take like five more chemistry classes after this one. I can't believe I'm already struggling. It is my fault. If I put the effort in, I would be doing fine. The problem is, is that chemistry seriously bores the hell out of me. I get all the basic chemistry stuff, but oh GOD, the stuff we're doing right now is pure hell.

I finished reading that book I was talking about in one of my latest posts. I pretty much just read all day today. IT WAS SO GOOD! It's called Comeback by Mia and Claire Fontaine. It's a true story, and the mother and daughter both tell it. Very, very intrigueing book. It allows the reader to see people and life from a different point of view (at least for me). I also liked it a lot because I could identify with the daughter, Mia. Our young childhood is similar, although her's is to a more drastic degree. I also coped a lot differently, but that is why the book was so interesting. Instead of looking to drugs and the "street life" like Mia, I pulled myself into a little cocoon, always afraid of hurting my mom and others around me. Maybe that is why I have such trouble with having real friends. Hmm. Something to think about.

So I am thinking about doing this thing called Pay Per Post. It's where this company pays you to post and advertise about different products. You can make 8+ dollars per post, and you can do up to three posts per day! Normally, I would be very wary about something like that, but Jenn from jenn.nu has been doing it for the last few months and has been paid almost a thousand dollars! By doing that, and designing websites for various people, I could quit my job. PPP is really cool because I would be writing for money.

xx